The truth about honesty

ImageThis specific post is not to encourage lying. Though many of you might see this as a justification to lie, it is not. This is to give you an idea of when honesty is appreciated, when it isn’t, and how it should be done.

Recently, I have heard people say things like “Honesty is the most important quality I value in myself”, or “I am an honest person; I say things as they are” or “I value a person’s honesty the most”, “honesty is the most important quality a person should have”. To these people, I would like to be completely honest and say: LIES!

Yes, honesty is an important characteristic that we should possess but is it the most important? Perhaps, you are entitled to your own opinion. I would rate compassion, tact, humility, kindness, bravery, sympathy, and benevolence way ahead of honesty. These are qualities that would actually make this world a better place instead of the bluntness an honest world would bring.

I do believe that we should not lie but I would like to emphasise, it is often notImage WHAT we say, but HOW we say it that matters. I am very much guilty of sugar-coating my comments when asked to be honest. And usually when honest people ask for an opinion, they expect an honest reply.

We need to understand that there are people out there who are naturally blunt, honest and straightforward. And seeing as this is a trait that comes naturally to them, I do not say they should change to become sugar coaters. I once had a friend tell me that he would like to be more honest and straightforward like a certain person, and my advice was simple; if it is not in your nature to be brutally honest, you may come across as rude, blunt and inconsiderate. This often happens when naturally UNBLUNT people try being completely straightforward.

However, when asked for an opinion, we should all take the other person’s feelings into consideration, the timing of the question and the state of mind of the person asking. With addition to our own tone, our word usage, our actions, gestures, mannerisms and most of all; WHETHER IT IS OUR PLACE TO SAY IT OR NOT.Image

People need to realise there is a fine line between honesty and just being plain rude. Tact is an important quality many of us lack today.

So the next time someone asks for your opinion (or doesn’t) judge for yourself, how appropriate your answer is and whether you would like to be spoken to like that.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. D'Anne Hotchkiss
    Jun 20, 2013 @ 22:47:10

    I agree with you! It is important to be honest, but it is also important to be compassionate and tactful. I think many people consider out-and-out lying to be the opposite of honesty; sugarcoating is just a social lubricant. Those who oppose lying have been victimized by significant and hurtful deception.

    Reply

  2. kyur21
    Jun 21, 2013 @ 05:06:17

    The Prophet SAW was always honest,irrespective of the person or issue he was addressing. He didn’t sugarcoat anything nor was he rudely blunt.

    “Surely Allah does not guide him aright who is a liar, ungrateful.”  (Surah az-Zumar 39:3)  

    http://myhadithoftheday.com/lies-are-they-really-worth-it/

    Reply

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